600 IV W Women's Sneakers T6605 Black Lotto Speedride nsrkdf2613-Women's Trainers

Marc Fisher Women's Barbora Sneaker, Natural, 10 Medium US
More From The Onion
600 IV W Women's Sneakers T6605 Black Lotto Speedride nsrkdf2613-Women's Trainers
Lotto Speedride 600 IV W Women's Sneakers T6605 Black

Item specifics

New with box: A brand-new, unused, unworn and undamaged item in its original packaging (such as the original box ... Read moreabout the condition
Styles: Sneakers
Sole: Rubber Style: Leisure
Ladies: Ladies Material: Mesh
Black: Black Product Number: T6605
Fastening Type: Lace Up Heel Type: flat
Main Colour: Black Heel Height: 2
color product: Blk/Tit Gry Lining: Mesh
Fastening: Lace Up Brand: Lotto
EAN: Does not apply
MBT Fora Gore-Tex Womens Black Toning Outdoor shoes Waterproof Size 3.5 UK 36 EU

NAIROBI, KENYA—Warning that a complete overhaul of their skill set was necessary to survive in the 21st century, environmentalists announced a new conservation program Friday to help struggling rhinos adapt to the modern ecosystem by retraining them as urban scavengers. “Many of these animals simply aren’t equipped to…

MBT Walking shoes Gore Tex Black Toning Workout Fitness Sneakers Mens 9 - 9.5
Marc Fisher Women's Harlea Wedge Sandal
Medicus Womens Ivana Side Zip Block Heel Pump shoes Black 7.5

SAN FRANCISCO—In a shocking discovery certain to complicate the legacy of a national icon, the estate of Walt Disney announced Friday it had discovered a cache of anti-American cartoons the pioneering animator intended to release if the Axis Powers had triumphed in World War II.

Melissa Harmonic Bow V Flip-Flop Thong Sandal Summer Beach Slip-On Comfort
Men 6.5Us Stansmith White Cm
Men Boy Loafers Moccasin Dress shoes Slip On Tassels SIZE 4.5 UK

NAPA, CA—After being lovingly tended by generations of bin Ladens, the once-gorgeous Northern California vineyard upon which the late al-Qaeda founder Osama bin Laden’s family winery sits is now crumbling and covered with weeds, sources confirmed Friday. “Bin Laden Manor produced some of the finest wines Napa Valley…

Men Genuine Cowhide Western Rodeo Square Toe Rubber Sole Boots

March 31, 1999 saw the release of The Matrix, the sci-fi action film directed by the Wachowskis that went on to massive financial and critical success, spawning sequels and a host of other related media. The Onion looks back at big moments in the franchise on its 20-year anniversary.

Marc Fisher Womens Mabel Closed Toe Classic Pumps, Black suede, Size 7.5

PINEVILLE, LA—Citing concerns over historically high seasonal traffic and the resulting potential flight delays, a Canada goose was thinking of migrating home two to three weeks early in order to avoid the crowds, avian sources confirmed Friday. “My friends think I’m a bit neurotic, but I just want a quiet,…

Men shoes Handmade Indian Wedding Jutties Khussa Cream Loafers UK 11.5 EU 44

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Warning that nothing was more dangerous than focusing on yesterday’s mistakes instead of being present right here and right now, self-actualized historians at Harvard University urged Americans not to get all hung up on the past. “Now more than ever, we must remember: A society that dwells on what it did…

SOUTH BEND, IN—Stumbling through the restaurant and gaming establishment in a dazed and incoherent stupor, local man Rob Woodham, 31, reportedly slipped into a ghastly, blinding fog of insanity Thursday just before he was asked if this was his first time at a Dave & Buster’s location. “Can I get you a menu?” said a…

Men shoes Wedding Khussa Indian Handmade Jutties Cream Groom Flat UK 6.5 EU 40

HEAVEN—Speaking with obvious nostalgia regarding the “raw and gritty” quality of his experiences in decades past, God the Almighty Creator confirmed Thursday that Heaven was “way cooler” in the 1970s. “Sure, there was a lot of more crime and corruption, but man, Heaven in those days felt way more authentic,” said the…

I know at times I can come off a bit caustic and abrasive. For years, I had no idea where these destructive feelings and behaviors came from, but as I get older, I’m starting to realize it all stems from my youth. You see, when I was growing up, still an innocent and impressible bottle of laundry detergent, my dad…

Men’s Chaco Sport Sandals Black bluee Size 11
Menbur Wedding Marta, Womens Closed pumps Ivory - Elfenbein (Ivory 04) 4 UK

CHESTERBROOK, PA—Regaling a group of prospective soldiers with tales from his youth, military recruiter Luke Coleman fondly recalled Wednesday when he was just a naïve kid being coaxed into making a binding eight-year commitment to the Army in order to fulfill a recruitment quota. “Man, I remember back when I was your…

MARCO TOZZI Women's 25128 Chukka Boots Grey (Lt.grey Metal. 237) 4 UK

Many cities, venues, and scholastic institutions have banned bottled water following campaigns by environmental groups, but critics warn such bans can have harmful unintended effects. The Onion looks at the pros and cons of banning bottled water.

Marco Tozzi Zapatillas Deportivas para women Low-Top de Deporte 23737-20 125

Men's 608v5 Running Sneakers, Chocolate Brown White, 10.5 4E, Brand New

WASHINGTON—Insisting that they had taken every measure to keep the message “extra top secret,” the Trump boys reportedly spent Wednesday defending their decision to send Saudi Arabia plans for a cool missile using their personal Etch A Sketch. “We spent, like, a million hours making that rocket look super good, so we…

Mark & James by Badgley Mischka Sz 9 Suede Beige Mason Pumps shoes Heels

Mark Nason Los Angeles Women's Frisco Sneaker, Burgundy, Size 10.0 US 8 UK

CRYSTAL RIVER, FL—Claiming he found the turn to be well banked and cambered with perfect sightlines, motorist Calvin Henry declared Wednesday that a bend along Florida State Road 44 was definitely not sharp enough to warrant the dozen or so roadside memorials along its outside shoulder. “I mean, this is a pretty soft…


HAVERFORD, PA—Expressing concerns about her odd behavior over the past few weeks, coworkers of Sheila Gottman confirmed Wednesday that the “total weirdo” was leading their office’s NCAA bracket pool after picking teams she analyzed and predicted would beat the others. “What kind of freak actually reads expert analysis…


Men's Aldo shoes Black Leather Laceless Pull On Dress Boots Size 7 M, EU 39 NEW